It’s Not Me, It’s Depression With My Face

By -
Mental Health issues are renowned as being a health problem, that along with piles or a pus-squirting willy, people don’t talk about.
I had always resolved to do anything I could, no matter how small, to change that.
So in that spirit I will declare on social media that this year I have been suffering from depression. Before I go further I should say I’m getting much better now, thank you.
Like most men I took a long time to realise I had a problem and then seek help. Being a doctor did not make me any quicker in this.





If you’ve not had any experience of depression be it professionally, personally or through close family and friends, I think it is very hard to understand completely its effects.
You really are not you. Your actions, thoughts and behaviour are not some deep truths bubbling to the surface. They are genuinely, at least for me, completely alien.


Depression is also not consistent in its relationship with someone. So to those of you that have encountered me during 2016 I may have appeared okay. It may have been a good day, it may have been alcohol, or it may have been that I’m quite a good actor when I try!





To some of you I owe an apology. I would hope to give, and have given, these apologies personally but forgive me if I take this opportunity to send a blanket ‘sorry.’ There are times this year when I have spoken and acted in ways that shame me and are in no way representative of who I truly am or my honest and heartfelt thoughts, feelings and beliefs.
If you’ve had to suffer cruel barbs or inappropriate and childish behaviour from me I am deeply sorry. I know that I was depressed but I still need to take responsibility.





I have been off work and on medication since July but my illness started long before then. Initially I felt anger at the damage it’s inflicted upon me and others. Over time I’ve appreciated that the anger was unhelpful. So now I’ve faced depression and accepted it, belittled it, and am well on my way to rejecting it.
Medication, mindfulness, counselling and CBT have all helped and continue to do so. I suffered depression once before when I was 20–21. I feel very strongly that this time my approach and the tools I have developed mean that there will not be a third occasion.
Family and friends that have known have been very supportive and I thank them very much. I am very happy to talk about my health and hope no one will feel awkward around me. Just like my knee surgery last year it’s a health problem that I’ve had and will completely recover from. It’s not a good idea to set firm deadlines but I’m very much nearer the end of my recovery than the beginning.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Watch Wiz Khalifa Hand Out Free Weed to Paparazzi

By -
Image
Wiz Khalifa was feeling generous last night. When the paparazzi pulled up on him in West Hollywood while he was getting ready to roll some weed up, he was kind enough to share the wealth. Watch as he reaches in the bag and asks all the cameramen, "You want some?" before handing it out and explaining that it was his own strain. For those not lucky enough to get a free sample straight out of Wiz's bag, his  Khalifa Kush  strain of weed is available in dispensaries.
Read more

Research Reveals the Amazing Benefits of Marijuana and Hemp: They May Shock You

By -
Image
What if I told you its OK to change your mind based on new information? The knowledge of marijuana’s benefits is on the rise, the  high  rise if you will. Pun intended. More and more research is proving that marijuana isn’t the gateway drug that we are all made to believe it is. In fact, many of the negative things told to us about marijuana have proven to be false according to many recent studies. An increasing number of states in the U.S. are recognizing these new studies and changing history in the process. U.S. states started recognizing marijuana for it’s medicinal purposes, and a few states have now legalized cannabis recreationally. So why are these states legalizing it? What do they know that the rest of the great US of A doesn’t? Or, better yet, why are they willing to take the “risks” associated with legalizing weed? Since legalizing marijuana, Colorado has been faced with a  huge problem …just what will they do with all that extra tax money? Last year lega...
Read more

Alcohol Industry Frantically Lobbies Against Legal Weed as Beer Sales Predict $2 Billion Drop

By -
Image
By:Jack Burns Some new cannabis statistics are undoubtedly causing the alcohol industry in the US to shake in their boots. With over half of the country’s states embracing some form of legalized marijuana, with a few states even permitting recreational use, cannabis is poised to affect the alcohol industry at some point. And according to a new study, the beer industry stands to lose billions if marijuana is legalized nationwide. The study states , “Cannabiz Consumer Group’s (C2G) research findings predict that legal marijuana will “canna-balize” 7.1% of revenues from the existing retail beer industry.” Even though the revenue margin may seem small to some, the profit losses are predicted to exceed 2 billion dollars. And while the research attempts to predict what will happen when and if weed is legal nationwide, many alcohol consumers are already making the switch over to marijuana. The study writes, “Twenty-seven percent (27%) of beer drinkers st...
Read more